T³W- The Walk_The Talk

2008-02-26T23:52:00.003+11:00

The apostle Paul said in one of his letters to the early churches, and I paraphrase "Why is it that i do not do what I want to do and do what I do not want to do?"

Why do I keep sinning?
Is it not that I have received the Freedom of Christ? Is it not now that I have been freed from the chains of sin and death? Is it not now that I stand before God clothed in righteousness in His sight?

Why do I keep on willfully sinning?
"I do what I do not want to do, yet I do not do what I want to do..."

1 John 1:9 NIV "If we confess our sins He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us of all our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness" - bears me no meaning when I know that I am going to commit that same sin again.

Why does it seem that I am still chained by sin when I know i should be free from it?
Why do I still sin knowing full well that it is wrong?
Why does it seem others live such a close walk with God yet I cannot say with conviction that I feel God's presence anywhere?
Why does it seem that I struggle to deal with sins I commit while others seem not to be sinning?

My prayers are meaningless when I know that I have sinned and will do so again when I ask for forgiveness. All I do is repeat the sin, thus putting him back on the cross (metaphorically), and repenting, going in that endless cycle...I CANNOT TAKE IT!

I know full well deep down in my heart that the devil has to control over me because of Jesus' blood...yet I still feel I am mired deep in sin. Why?

The only evidence of any shred of the Holy Spirit in me is that I am still able to confess and repent. But what point is there in repenting when you know you're just going to do it again and again?

Is there no escape from this spiral? Will I never be rescued? I know my life is Christ's, yet how can He accept someone as filthy as me?
I sin yet I do not want to sin, while I want to live a life that is holy yet it is far from it.

The fact that I am a sinner in and out has never rang more true in my life than this very moment...

...Cry out for their mistakes, repent of their ways again
I'm sorry I didnt see Your Ways
Your beautiful ways...

The time has come to be healed
Let your wounded hearts cry out to Him
Be healed of your past pains
He's taken them away
Believe this...

Oh Father,
By your blood we're restored
Our lives forever changed

Lord, I believe in you
You've FREED me from sin
Every time that they scarred your skin
Every moment of your painful death WAS FOR ME
WHY for ME?
Never should I look away...forget of what you did for us...

You are God, You rose again... ~from Lord I Believe- Phanin Souer, 2006

Lord Jesus, Abba Father, please remove this part of me. I want to be able to respect myself, and not be ashamed of what I do. I want to live a life free of sin, to be free in You, to know full well that I'm forever in Your arms... To see your Glory, to experience it, and come back and never be the same ever again. I ask you back into my heart once more, and I pray that you will never leave, that you will always dwell in me. Make me a worthy vessel for your Spirit. Give me the strength and the instinct to turn straight to you when things go even slightly awry and not rely on what I consider my strength sufficient. I pray that there will be many more days where I can experience Your love firsthand in your embrace, and where I can share Your love with others...

Amen

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM." Where there's God's freedom, "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ."

Blast from the Past Part III: Old Ties

2008-02-16T01:36:00.003+11:00

The third installment of my blast from the past (read the other two entries if from here on out you have ABSOLUTELY no idea what i am talking about), after a long time of nothing happening brings you:

OLD TIES

okay, my creativity on how to title stuff just went out of the window. So here's what happened:

A couple of days back after a stint of playing FLYFF, i noticed that i had new mail courtesy of the gmail notifier running in my system tray. one of the few new items in my inbox was (yet) another notification of a friend adding me on Facebook. This friend's an old high school friend from Brentwood, so no worries in wondering who it was. So without hesitation i logged onto my personal Facebook profile to confirm that Jess Choong was indeed someone i knew. Just out of curiousity i clicked on a link that indicated that she and I had 5 friends in common.

Of the 5 faces displayed there i recognised all of them, no mistake there. However only 2 of the 5 caused me even more surprise. Care to guess? Bah... i'll just say. It happened to be Lim Pi Xie and Susan Chia! Honestly, I don't know what to make of this except to say, it's not even 6 degrees of seperation any more. The world isn't as big as I thought it was. What's more is that a portion of my past has been brought to the present, much like the Time Spiral theme from Magic the Gathering series (if you don't get the reference, then dont try. it's a geek / nerd thing)...

lastly all i have to say is.... WOW. I never thought this sort of thing would ever happen in my life, but clearly, a couple of days ago-heck- even from two months ago i was proven wrong. People you've met at some stage of your life that you haven't seen for what seemed like a lifetime to come back.

Lives intersect, no journey is made where a path doesn't cross with another. Divergent paths alwasy reconverge. Somewhere down the line, in each journey at different speeds...

...we meet again...

Love is... Montagues vs Capulets

2008-01-21T00:18:00.000+11:00

I just recently finished the anime (Japanese animation) adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. Released early in 2007, I only managed to get to watching it courtesy of a very busy and challenging year and of course, now the advent of the summer holidays. I'm glad i left this series to watch when I had nothing else on. And i have to say, it's THE BEST adaptation of Shakespeare's play I've seen. Every previous adaptation pales in comparison to this anime. While set in a semi-realistic world (with the exceptions a floating city, the existence of pegasi and some strange tree and its respective caretaker) with a real heavy dystopiatic (<-- is this even a word?) theme, the entire story doesn't detract too much from the original work of Shakespeare. Granted, it's still to some extent a tragic love story marred by familial fued (though not your garden variety familial fued)

IN ANY CASE, for all anime lovers out there who doesn't know the existence of this series, I SUGGEST YOU HUNT IT DOWN and watch it ASAP.

In Shakespeare's original work Romeo and Juliet both died by killing themselves which in my opinion, despite the context / circumstance in which they did it, was a really horrendously stupid way for a couple loving each other to die. While in Romeo x Juliet the ending is not dissimilar, it's at least a whole lot better. I've hinted too much about the ending already in my latter sentence so I'll shut up and let all of you watch and find out yourselves.

Personal enjoyment rating: 9/10

Yellow Christmas, Oven New Year, and callouses on my fingers

2008-01-20T21:25:00.000+11:00

This post is just to bring readers up to speed on what's happened since i last posted an entry

As per the previous entry, i was waiting for my academic results. I now can say that i have passed and now this year, in 2008 i am finally progressing to the 3rd year of my course, which was meant to happen this time last year.

In any case since then there's been some hot days, notaby Christmas day and New Year's. Both were around the 40 degree (Celsius) mark and no real respite coming until a couple of weeks back when it was in the mid 20's.

I've also recently applied as a transcriber at www.animechords.com, a rather popular site dealing with transcribing, as in, putting chords to anime music. My "application" was picked out of "many with rather questionable ability to communicate effectively and ability to transcribe". I was pretty happy about that. the only downside of this job is that i won't get paid for it, but might just get picture of large cute animal plushies, or so says my "boss". In the process i've gotten to know a little about a guy who lives near the border of western Germany in a little town called Venlo that goes by the name of Jelmer bas Kosters.

I've managed to complete a couple of transcriptions thus far, but have more to do, hence the callouses on my fingers playing guitar for hours on end.

Countdown....

2007-11-25T23:20:00.000+11:00

In less than 9 hours from the time of this post, two doors will open. Either one leads to a result, but neither result shall be the same.

One door will lead me to despair.
One door will lead me to a continuing journey of ups and downs.

Destiny awaits.

In less than 9 hours from this post, the enormity of either my academic failure or otherwise will become apparent.

In less than 9 hours...

DESTINY CALLS.

Self Destruct Sequence Initiated......

2007-11-23T12:00:00.000+11:00

Distraction leads me to Carelessness which in turn causes Neglect to the point that Poor Organization sets in as a result of Immaturity which subsequently encourages Poor Risk Taking and results in the Unreliability in Creating a Good Future, consequently Sabotaging that potentially good future, creating a Co-dependency on those around, leading to Abuse of Privileges and ultimately NOT GOING ANYWHERE IN LIFE.

In light of the upcoming year, and with the help of a friend, this is what I have come to realize about myself. Just by being distracted from doing something starts the self destruct chain reaction that will ultimately land me in a point where I could call myself the ultimate victim of life itself.

How do I abort the Self Distruct Sequence? Enter the code to stop it.
What is the Abort Self Distruct Code? TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO NOT BE DISTRACTED.

Only time will tell...

Blast from the Past Part II: Meet Up?

2007-11-06T22:15:00.001+11:00

While Pi Xie is in Canada, and Pearly in England, turns out that Susan is studying at Monash in Melbourne. Honestly i was pretty excited...

Hope to meet up with her soon. See how much each of us has changed...

Blast from the Past Part I: CONTACT!

2007-11-05T11:21:00.001+11:00

I was about to knock off to sleep after talking to my mum who is still in KL, i got a message in my email notifying me that yet ANOTHER person has added me as a friend on Facebook.

You may think it was nothing special, but this "friend" turned out to be none other than Lim Pi Xie, a classmate all the way back from my Kuen Cheng primary school days. I was in the same class with her for the majority of my years there, from grade 1 through to grade 5, but were in different classes in grade 6.

I was pretty excited, and bear in mind that this was something like 3am this morning, and i couldn't sleep. Pi Xie also lead me to Susan Chia, whom I also remember and Pearly. While i do remember what they look like, I don't remember Pearly's Chinese name.

That was probably the most random thing that's occured to me this year...

Ack...

2007-11-04T22:54:00.000+11:00

Starting off the 1st official week of my holidays with a bang... literally a bang

my sister was driving to Sofia's earlier this evening, we encountered a car which i did not think the rear brake indicators were fully functional (if at all). my sister managed to stop safely, but a Ford Falcon came up and rammed us from behind, resulting in us knocking into the car in front.

resulting damage, fortunately isn't extensive. the front left headlight glass was broken, while the bulb is still intact, and the "ornamentals" between the headlights has been knocked out of its place and broken, and a minor light unit broken at the back. insurance fortunately covers it without any out of pocket on my expense, or that of my sister's or my dad's.

the car of the driver in front suffered the least damage, escaping with only a very minor dent in the rear bumper, and the guys behind us got away with relatively minor damage too.

It's all over...for now

2007-10-29T22:32:00.000+11:00

The craze of having to study..more like cramming for exams is over for now...at least for me. People are envying me because i get a longer holiday. i assure you, i don't. I start earlier than the rest of you.

As for those about to sit for exams, all the best of luck, may your sanity and memorizing ability be with you.

May the Force be with you.

Out of my mind

2007-10-05T03:30:00.000+10:00

A couple of days ago i managed to somehow singlehandedly caused the evacuation of 10 floors worth of people when i really really shouldn't have...

I finally admitted it yesterday...

I feel like such an idiot... and right now i can't even fathom my own psyche...because what i did was completely out of my character. Those who know me know that i am not one for any sort of practical joke, least of all capable of even something like this.

the recurring internal questioning poses the question repeatedly: "WHY THE HECK did I bring my thumb back onto that fire alarm to 'stroke' it only to result in the emergency glass breaking?!?"

No dares, nothing. just me, and a guy who said that it would be funny if someone actually broke the glass to the fire alarm panel...

Dad, why did they build the Great Wall of China?

2007-09-02T07:45:00.000+10:00

"Erm... you know son, daddy may be smart, but let me go and ask Uncle Google...." - Damien Phua, COCFC sunday school Father's Day skit.

Happy Father's Day to all you Dad's out there.

To the fatherless, Jesus is yours to call a father.

Redemption

2007-08-27T16:12:00.001+10:00

"Spiritual redemption is but a small part of redemption as a whole" - Rev. Tim Costello, at Clayton Church of Christ Fellowship 19/08/07

Rev. Tim Costello, CEO of World Vision delivered a message on redemption. Not spiritual redemption but a physical redemption. God came to seek and save the lost, but he didn't just save those who needed saving spiritually, those that needed saving were also healed physically.

Stop The Traffik is a declaration of all those who believe that slave trade in anyway should no longer be practiced but be a wrongdoing of the past. William Wilberforce, abolitionist of the slave trade back in the time when Great Britain was an empire, was outnumbered in his outspokenness against the slave trade in Britain. Yet from persistence from willing to listen to God's voice the bill for the abolition of the slave trade was finally passed.

Years on, today, there are more slaves than there were in William's time in Britain. The time is now to respond. People trading is a horrible thing that's happening, right under our noses. We may not see them, nor may we hear the cries of the people who are trafficked. But someone noticed.

Choose, and act.

Journey of a Bag of Drumsticks....

2007-08-15T19:46:00.000+10:00

Phanin having forgotten to bring his drumsticks for worship at Gravitate the Sunday just gone by borrowed two pairs of my drumsticks. I promptly forgot to take them home and realised this fact on Monday evening. The following is the account that takes place on Tuesday 14/08/07 between the times of 1700 and 1800 AEST...

Returning from Beleura Hospital I rang Pastor Paul to see if the sticks were still at church. They were not. Next call was to Phanin, as my sister suggested. Phanin said he handed it to Janice thinking that she would most likely see me on friday at u.n.i.t.e. .Upon reaching Janice after several attempts she said she gave it to Robby thinking that he'd see me first on Friday at u.n.i.t.e before she does. Unsuccessfully reaching Robby, I called Anne, his girlfriend and received a different number to reach him which I did. Robby then tells me he passed the sticks on to Kevin thinking that he'd see me when we went to watch Die Hard 4.0 (which I wasn't going to since there was music practice, and hence the stick hunting and was not even intending on going since I was already wrecked). The buck finally stops at Julie, Kevin's girlfriend. Upon reaching her she tells me that Kevin left the sticks in her car, and would bring it to me that evening since we were going to see each other at worship practice.

*account ends here*

I'm just amazed at how many hands exchanged my drumsticks. Had it been something else like my wallet or my....lightsabers, for example, I would have been horrified. But I am just glad I got my drumsticks back in the end without too much effort...

My Birthday

2007-08-14T22:51:00.000+10:00

Shucks... it's been almost a month since I had my 21st birthday party... Just shows you how far behind I've lagged in blogging... Anyway I had my 21st birthday party on the 21st of July, yes, last month.

To all those who could make it, thanks for coming, and thanks for eating as much as possible. If some of you are wondering, by now all the party food that WAS cooked has now been finished, mostly helped by the fact that my parents went to a housewarming thing the next day, so they filled the box that contained my cake full of party pies, sausage rolls, and some other stuff.

I actually wanted to say more in my speech, but you know how I am with speeches, and I don't articulate well unless I am actually writing. So...here's what I wanted to say, plus or minus some minor details:

Thanks for coming, and eating the food, and thanks for being such good friends, and I feel that God's really blessed me with you guys. I don't think I met you all by any coincidence or chance, because there is no such thing as coincidence, only God's divine hand. And I know one way or another you guys have impacted my life in one way or another, be it a positive or negative impact, it matters not. I am here being who I am because I met each one of you, though in varying degrees, I was somewhat shaped by the experiences that we shared together.

Thanks for being my friends, and I hope our journey as friends continue for as long as it is destined to continue for, until such a time comes where we have to walk our separate ways, and even then, I hope the strings of friendship remain, neglecting time and distance and the physical.

There you have it. For those of you who couldn't make it, don't worry too much about it. That little spiel of mine up there is also for you guys, so thanks heaps.

What I got for my birthday:
Jeremy "Jam" Yam- movie-like poster of some of our BSC Year 12 '04 cohort during "S-Day" that year. Me dressed as a Jedi, and the movie title? Daniel Kenobi: Battle of Zenotrax. Picture can be seen here: (apologies in advance for the slightly inadequate lighting and shaky hand) http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f348/azn86-jedi/IMG_0061.jpg
Brad "Mullet" Twaddell- $20 and card
Grace Tung- Tie and card
Kristy Prause, my Year 11 Deb ball partner- Card
COCFC u.n.i.t.e pplz- 30 GB iPod video, Quiksilver belt (specifically asked for which Chris provided), MG Strike Noir Gundam kit (from Javan), $150 for drum fund.
Kathleen, my counsellor- Entertainment Book
Parents: $$$(undisclosed) that goes towards getting my car.
Deb, my sister (with everyone's help)- Comment littered photo album of me, and some people whom I have met over the years.

I think that's it.... i may have gotten more but i can't think off the top of my head at this point in time. I'll go back and edit when i do remember i've left something out and it's not there.

The Keys to Prayer

2007-07-10T02:07:00.000+10:00

Prayer of the Desperate
Prayer of Desire
Prayer of the Determined.

more often than not we come before God in desperation and cry out to him for help. I am no god, but i have a friend, a sister in Christ who reached out to me in desperation. but who am i, created in God's image, to refuse to render aid? for God our father is so good to give his children things that are asked of him. Likewise, i choose to render aid to a friend in dire need.

God said what you did for the least of these, you did it for ME.

The second prayer is probably prayed just as often as the first. Often we come to God with not just needs. we come to him with A LOT of wants. Remember that needs are fundamentally different from wants or desires. Need basically has no bias. desires sometimes can be lived without. God does however grant our desires. sometimes desires are coupled with desperation. as with other desires, God grants it in his perfect timing, never earlier, never later.

Fairly rarely do people pray determinedly. in other words, there are not many who consistently pray for the one thing, and hence do not experience breakthrough. this prayer is especially important to break down barriers and obstacles in body, mind and spirit.

Are you a morning person? do you just pray in the morning? and if your day doesn't start well you skip your "alotted time" for God in the morning and come back feeling all exhausted?

Or are you a night person, you leave your time with God at the end of the day, just thanking him for the day gone past, or pray for the idiot who cut you off in traffic on the way home?" Or do you not pray at all, coming home at the end of the day feeling so worn out that you decide unconsciously or consciously to skip your time with God?

Prayer is not restricted to just one part of the day. Don't just pray in the morning or at night. pray during your lunch break as you fuel your body. pray when you decide to take a walk to improve your body. Pray while you cook, pray while you do your chores, pray while you spend quality time with the kids.

Prayer is like your 1800-toll free number to get in touch with the creator of the universe. So go use it whenever you can.

The 777 wedding.

2007-07-07T22:00:00.000+10:00

Remember how 7 one of the "perfect" and or important number in the Bible? Anyway...
Today I had the pleasure to witness the union of one Rima and Aylin, both in the breakdancing ministry at my church, COCFC, on this day, the 7th of July 2007 ( hence 07/07/07)

"A match made in heaven." Is what i recall Pastor Phillip at a different wedding some years back. I find that so true. This was a match where if it were not for God, would not have happened. Aylin looked so stunning and Rima was so fidgity that Pastor Ken had to joke on how Rima couldn't keep his eyes on his wife to be while normally any other bridegroom would keep his eyes on his bride.

This is the first wedding ceremony where i have been really involved, whereas in previous weddings i had been nothing but a spectator. I had the important role of making sure musicians had proper sounds, the presiding marriage celebrant (being our senior pastor) had sound coming out of his lapel mic, making sure that all went well soundwise and multimedia wise.

I loved Rima's pick of background music to go with the multimedia presentation he handed me which showed many still pictures, and clips of himself and Aylin in the dance ministry, as well as the ultimate proposal. The song I immediately recognised was "Into The West", a song composed for the penultimate episode of the Lord of the Rings and was used in the end credits.

In the end I made only one mistake, one so barely noticable that people, except maybe for Rima, would not have been able to tell unless pointed out by myself.

I sat in the first wedding reception since coming to Australia, and it was a unique one at that. The cuisine was of Islander roots, and while there were some unique things, I overdosed on cold prawns and mussels...no diarrhea though, and i am pretty happy about that. Entertainment was provided by the Islanders, and there was some Islander dancing going on, with "crumping" and our very own EDGE crew busting out their moves. In both instances Rima was invited on to pull out some moves of his own along with his younger brother Puni.

If there is one thing that I would never expect a groom to say in a speech at his wedding reception is what Rima said at his; " In a few hours time, I am going to to have sex with my wife." Shocking as it seems for me, it should be seen as his bold declaration in front of family and friends, whom the majority are not believers of Christ, that despite his culture, stands firm in the values of God. Good on ya, Rima.

Congratulations to Mr Rima Teata, and Mrs Aylin Teata for a beautiful and successful ceremony. May your primary focus be your joined relationship with God, as he will prosper your union. May your lives be lived out for Christ in never ending passion, and may your children share your passion of Christ, just like you have in the past, present and future.

Transformers...

2007-07-07T21:47:00.000+10:00

...has finally entered my life again big time. While i only remember bits and pieces from the age old animated series when my age was only in single figures, the movie was something that was a must see for me, and a must see for a lot of people in my generation.

Good stuff about the movie: As always, with all sci-fi / mecha / hi-tech movies the CGI was awesome. Portrayal of our favourite Autobots and the much loved and hated Decepticons was fairly well done. There was some comic relief in Ironhide wanting to show off his cannons to Sam Witwicky, and the monkey like Decepticon in Frenzy.

Bad stuff about the movie: Storywise, they could have focussed a little more on the robots themselves, and not waste time on the budding relationship between Sam and whatshername. Some others say there was not enough attention paid to all the small little things that happened in the animated TV series. I've heard die hard fans ask "why didn't the other part of Prime's 18 wheeler spontaneously drop out of the sky when he transformed into the truck...?" and another said "Megatron should have transformed into a gun..." To me they aren't all that important in this movie. What I really felt was that while the CGI was great, the cinematography could have been better. Too often in the movie what we find is that the "camera" is too close up, and in some cases, so close in that while either Autobot or Decepticon transfroms, you see their robotic crotch... it's not on...seriously.

Hot Pants? COLD Pants!

2007-07-02T17:02:00.000+10:00

Before you readers jump to conclusions, I am not talking about THOSE sort of hot pants. No, absolutely not.

Never had i felt so cold when opening those massive freezers at the supermarket... As most meteorologists and other budding scientists know that cold air sinks while hot air rises, well, opening a commercial freezer in the supermarket and sticking your hand in to grab something is the epitomy the former half of the air...current theory (not sure what it it actually is called) of feeling the very very cold air around your legs....hence the cold pants... and legs.

I Cut My Hair?!

2007-07-01T23:46:00.000+10:00

Today, prior to Gravitate worship practice:

Titus: Hey
Me: Hey man.
Titus: Did you cut your hair?
Me: (One eyebrow raised, thinking "Why the heck did you ask that?") Err....no?
Titus: Well your hair looks different.
Me: Er...I washed my hair?
Titus: Ah... (turns to Julez) His hair looks different doesn't it?
Julez: Yeah...it does...
Me: (mentally shaking my head by this stage) [Understandably] My hair looks different after I've WASHED it.

If anything, my hair only inched longer in the past week... AND I NEED A HAIRCUT!

The journey continues...

2007-06-30T13:28:00.000+10:00

After some 2 months break due to clinical placement and exams, my journey in dabbling in Iaido continues, learning more than i have today in the weeks prior to my break.

Today: Continued consolidation with with Mae (1st kata) and briefly touched on Morote-tsuki (6th kata), learnt Ushiro and Ukenagashi, the 2nd and 3rd kata respectively with Jarrod and Justin.

Observations: Feet need to be further apart in performing the kata to avoid the "skateboarding / surfing" feet positions (as per whatshisname, the guy who ran through it with us). Ushiro needs a heck of a lot of work...especially having to pivot on my right knee with absolutely NO padding on a hard wooden floor...same goes for my other knee i suppose...Need to remember that the back of the sword is facing the attacker, so as to "not destroy the 'priceless family heirloom'..." (again, as per the fellow iaidoka that shall go nameless for the time being)

Two new people at the dojo today. First timers. John walked them through the cutting and feet techniques.

Results of not having done Iai for 2 months: Sore muscles tending superiorly to my patella, cramping upon knee extension and muscle tension, collateral soreness of pec majors tending to axillary and last but not least, soreness of the lateral aspect of the brachialis at right elbow, from frequent and sudden extensions of the joint.

Next week: Aileen and Rima's wedding...may need to leave early from Iaido, if not skip entirely, which is not a favourable option.

Exams...

2007-06-22T23:33:00.000+10:00

It's all over...for now.

Musing...

2007-06-21T13:48:00.000+10:00

...From Hillsong United's All Of The Above album:

"Politics will not decide if we should rise and be Your hands and feet...Higher than all circumstance Your Promise stands, Your Love for all to see. Higher than our protest lines and dollar signs Your Love is all we need...Fill our hearts with compassion as we hold to our confession... GOD BE THE SOLUTION" - Solution

"Hope which was lost, now stands renewed..." - Saviour King

Blog has moved....

2007-06-21T00:18:00.000+10:00

YES! I HAVE MOVED MY BLOG!

For all older blog posts go to http://drummer-boi-dan.spaces.live.com